WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?

• Your last name stays put.


• The garage is all yours.


• Wedding plans take care of themselves.


• Chocolate is just another snack.


• You can never be pregnant.


• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.


• You can wear NO shirt to a water park.


• Car mechanics tell you the truth.


• The world is your urinal.


• You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too"icky."


• Wrinkles add character.


• Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.


• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.


• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.


• One mood all the time.


• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.


• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.


• You can open all your own jars.


• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.


• If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.


• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.


• You almost never have strap problems in public.


• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.


• Everything on your face stays its original color.


• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.


• You only have to shave your face and neck.


• You can play with toys all your life.


• One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.


• You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.


• You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.


• You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24, in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

All in a day's work

What an interesting day I had yesterday! I received a lead for a new buyer who was leaving the next day. He was from Texas and wanted a house he and his wife could live in while visiting their children. But, he only wanted bank owned properties, on the coast, for under $500,000. Well, there were 5 that fit that description. As we drove around looking he realized they were dogs. Totally trashed, one even had the sinks and toilets removed. He soon came to the conclusion that it was going to take a whole lot of money to fix them up. Next we looked at condo's. Some good buys, but he finally found a fixer in not too bad shape. We spent the entire day looking. But at least I think he is going to buy.

So I am told they want to think about it and could we meet back at the property at 7:00, it is now 4:00, but I said OK. I get there early. The condo units (about 6 condos) are surrounded by tall trees and lots of heavy brush and bushes. Very dense, kind of like being out in the forest, except for the freeway noise. All of a sudden while I am standing alone in the parking lot, a helicopter starts circling over my head. They are saying, "We are looking for a robbery suspect. White male with a shaved head." I immediately get back in my car and lock the doors. The cops keep circling. I decide it would be safer if I go inside the house (it is vacant). I dig in my purse, but no lockbox key. I search the car, but no key. I now remember I left it on my desk at home. Not only can't I get in, but the buyer can't get in either. Just as I make this realization the buyers get there. Husband, wife, son and twins, aged 19 months. We stand in the parking lot and I explain they can't get in but I have a contract ready to sign.

They are irritated but say OK after they walk around the outside. It is now dusk, but you can still see if you peek in the windows. All of a sudden, up comes the helicopter, " We are looking for a robbery suspect, white male, shaved head, white T-shirt, hands cuffed in front of him." Over and over, round and round they go. It is so loud we can not hear one another. The babies start to cry and the wife is scarred. But the husband is determined to look in the windows. This goes on forever. Then we hear from above, "Tracy Lyon give up, don't make us send the dogs in! Come out now and surrender to the police officer and you won't have to go to the hospital." Police officer? All we see is a helicopter directly overhead. This goes on the entire time we are filling out and signing the contract. Finally the helicopter leaves, I assume Tracy didn't want to see the dogs. It's about 8:30 now. I have an offer for the condo. The buyers who are slightly shook up along with their screaming babies finally leave.

And I go home with my offer. The offer- $301,000. The asking price - $439,000. Oh yeah, that's going to happen! When monkeys fly........(you know the rest). Oh the glamor of it all.
A day in the life of a Realtor.

It's so quiet here!

It's so quiet you can hear a pin drop, or an animal outside that makes the dog bark. I am not accustomed to such quiet, it will take some getting use to. The family was here, of course not all of them but quite a few, and now they are gone. I loved the noise, the hustle and bustle, being woken up by little ones peeking in my bedroom door and asking, "Are you awake Grammy?". Oh yes, the house was a constant mess, the TV was seldom turned off and the wet towels went on forever. But it was good.

Yesterday Jim and Mike left for their week long High Sierra backpacking trip. So it is now just Betty Boop and myself. To make matters worse, Betty Boop is depressed. Yes, she is moping around as if it's my fault everyone is gone. First thing in the morning she runs from bedroom to bedroom to see if she's missed anyone. Then she comes and flops down by my feet and gives me the sad eyes which is suppose to get my sympathy. I think it is working.

It is now 9:00 and no one has gotten me my Big Gulp. That is next on the list, right after get dressed. I am grateful to have people I love in my life. It is wonderful to know I will never be alone. It was difficult many times to try to raise 8 children, but I am now reaping the rewards of that choice. I look at dear friends who are not married and their children come seldom to visit or stay in touch and I see a loneliness that I will never experience. I think the greatest blessing I will ever have is my children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and Jim.

I am also grateful for this week of solitude to reflect on how rich my life is because of the family I have. We are often loud and opinionated but with that comes deep love for one another and oh so much fun! We can't be together and not laugh. Who could ask for more?